The Godmother
by CedwardPattinsonian
Summary: An imagined missingmoment from Breaking Dawn.Find out how Edward solves the problem when Rosalie gets jealous of Bella and wants Renesmee for her own. Vote for it in The Twilight Awards, categories BD Missing Moment and Angst/Drama. The link's in my bio.


Green

_**The Godmother**_

Anna Wood

_Green_.

The color I would have turned if I were still human. But, as I was constantly reminded, more so now than ever, I was not.

In no way did my beautiful, faultless body resemble that of a human's. _Beautiful_ didn't even begin to describe the way I looked. Because of this unnatural perfection, my skin would never change color. It was beneficial to me, as otherwise everyone would have guessed my true feelings. I would have been disgustingly green.

Humans turned green when they were feeling nauseated. That, or extremely, passionately envious. Both applied to me now.

As I watched Bella holding _my_ baby, caressing her lovely face, smiling, and laughing, I felt nauseated that it was Bella in this situation. It was not I, as it should have been. And I was more than jealous. Nessie should have been mine. Only _mine_.

_I_ had cared for her the first few days of her life. _I_ had held her, _loved_ her. It was clear the feeling was not mutual; at the first sight of Bella, Renesmee had cried out for her. She wanted her biological mother. Not her Mother. Her _biological_ mother.

I had no idea babies had so much in common with ducks. A duck considers the first living creature it sees its mother. It then imitates the behaviors of this "mother." If the so-called mother does not nurture the baby duckling as much as it should, the duckling has a great chance of dying.

Bella was the first face Renesmee saw when she was born. I wondered. Would the same outcome be inevitable? That the baby would die, caused by a lack of care from Bella? Perhaps in this case, Nessie would not _die_. But she would certainly lose a part of herself.

I didn't worry _too_ much. Nessie would always and forever have me. And that stupid wolf. How could Jacob have done this to me? To _us_. I even felt pity for Bella. Her best friend; her new son-in-law. It was utterly repulsive to me that _my_ baby would spend most of her life with a _dog_. But at least I knew for sure that Jacob would never forsake Renesmee. He loved her as much as I did.

I suppose Bella _did_ love her child. It was a motherly instinct. And _everyone_—absolutely _everyone _loved Ness as soon as they met her. It was only to be expected. Yet Bella's love was diluted. All of her attention was with Edward. She barely spared a glance towards her child—the little amount of time she had between her sessions in bed with her husband.

Ah, that fool. Edward. The only one who knew the envious thoughts in my head this very second. Yet, he didn't care enough to even turn his head. He was much too involved with Bella and Renesmee. Revolting. It could have been _my_ baby!

If I could become human again…I wouldn't mind leaving Em. I felt guilty thinking about this while my husband himself was holding me in an intimate embrace, but it was true. Edward alone knew the fact that my feelings for Emmett were not _true_ love. I doubted Emmett's feelings were of that nature either. I loved him, and he loved me, it was true, but mostly for physical appearances, at least in the beginning. After a few decades, our bond had grown stronger. We had grown to _really_ love each other. Funny, how such strengthened bonds could be dissolved so easily if I chose. I knew that if I had the chance to be human once more, and leave Em, I would do so in an instant. It was my dream to become mortal again, not that it would ever happen. But if it was possible…

If it were possible, I would have a baby. That was what I wanted more than anything in the world. But, sadly, there was no chance of this happening. So I would have to settle for Bella's baby.

At the moment, Nessie was touching Bella's face, probably giving her some memory or message. I struggled to keep my face composed in a cheerful smile. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to keep my feelings from Bella and my family. Perhaps because I owed some gratitude to my new sister-in-law. She _had_ birthed Renesmee, after all.

I had expected to feel a lot of hatred towards Bella after she had given birth, because she was able to do this and I was not, but strangely I did not _hate_ her. All I felt was covetousness. I desired the way Bella would be able to live, with a family. With her very own child.

My hands clenched into fists when I saw that very same child giggling and kissing Bella on the cheek. They slowly unclenched before anyone could notice or comprehend my rage.

"Bella," I said calmly.

She turned to face me, her crimson eyes shining like fresh blood. "Rose?"

Edward also turned to stare at me.

"Maybe it's time to take a break." I tried not to hiss. _Since when did she start calling me Rose? _I wondered viciously. Oh, right. Since I'd been nice and helped her through her pregnancy. Wherever that had come from.

"But—Rose, I just _met_ my baby! I don't think I'm doing her any harm," Bella replied, looking confused.

Edward saw the protest in my thoughts and answered them. "Give Bella a minute, Rose. We all know you love Renesmee too."

I narrowed my eyes and growled softly. Emmett's arms tightened around me. "My fiery Rose," he chuckled. Edward gave me a warning look and turned back to Bella.

My burning desire began to spread in my body. My throat felt scalded, as if I was dangerously thirsty. The scorching pain reached from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes. My fingers unconsciously reached for my baby. I pulled them away just in time. The tips felt blistered.

Jasper frowned at me. "All that desire should be taken somewhere else," he muttered under his breath, wrongly thinking I was lusting after Em.

"Y-e-e-e-s-s-s, it should," Emmett agreed, snickering suggestively. "Mmm? What d'you say?"

I snorted. The fire raged on, with no regard for my husband. My original feelings towards Bella were evoked.

Edward looked at me curiously, probably seeing what I was feeling in my head. "Uh, Rose." He frowned pointedly and shook his head ever so slowly.

"Yes, dear brother?" I smiled sweetly.

"Could I—speak with you for a minute?"

"Anything you say," I replied, flashing my brilliant, white teeth.

Bella looked at us with displeasure. "Edward," she whined. _That brat._

Edward quite obviously didn't think she was whining, though she clearly was. "Sorry, love," he apologized unhappily. "We'll just be gone a little while."

Alice grinned at Bella. "C'mon, Bella. We'll have fun without them!"

My sister-in-law smiled unenthusiastically and waved her hand as if to shoo us away.

Emmett released me reluctantly and blew me a hearty kiss.

As soon as Edward and I were in the jungle and out of earshot from the rest of the family, he turned on me with a ferocious glare. "What is with you?" he hissed.

I rolled my eyes. "Since when am I supposed to like Bella?"

"Rose, you thought of her as a sister when she was pregnant! I should know. What happened?" he exclaimed.

"Oh, right. I forgot about that moment of temporary insanity," I shrugged dispassionately. My insides twisted uneasily. I _had_ remembered that moment.

My brother was thrown. "Are you—serious?"

"You obviously haven't been spending enough of your precious time listening to my thoughts lately," I remarked dryly, thinking of his wild nights with Bella.

"But why? Why did your feelings turn around so quickly?" he asked, ignoring my jibes.

"Because," I was exasperated now, "Bella lived."

His eyebrows rose to his hairline and rage roamed his darkening eyes. He had already known I harbored spiteful feelings towards his wife, but I had never wanted her _dead_. Before now.

"You—" he managed to spit out. "How can you—" A deep, throaty growl arose from his chest. Edward looked like he wanted to tear me to shreds and burn the pieces.

I put my hands out in front of me as he stalked closer. "Whoa, Edward," I laughed nervously. "Hear me out."

He stopped, crossed his arms, and tapped his foot in the human style. "Your thoughts aren't explaining anything," he explained. "They're a mess."

I nodded. That was probably true. "I—I only wanted the baby," I admitted. "I wasn't thinking about Bella's life at all. I hadn't expected her to live. It was little matter of concern to me. I would do anything—_anything_—for a baby of my own. You should know, of all people." I cracked a small smile. I felt bad now, remembering how I had begun to love Bella as a real sister while she was pregnant. We had grown so close. But my original feelings had returned. The ones I had before Bella had married Edward. Currently, the spiteful resentments I had felt towards her were magnified, though I wished they weren't.

Edward's arms were still crossed. "Go on," he said without emotion. He was staring at the ground.

"If Bella has the baby—I don't get a share. All I want—_need_—is some motherhood. Because my maternal instinct is so strong, I doubt Bella's ability to provide for her child. My desire for Renesmee is so strong, I can't control it. It's like a disease that attacks both my mind and body. It causes me round-the-clock grief. It's—horrible." If I had still been human, my voice would have cracked.

Now Edward was looking at me, a mixture of sympathy and loss in his expression. "I had no idea, Rose. I just didn't understand. I do now."

I nodded gratefully. Normally I would have been annoyed by how understanding he was being, but now I only appreciated it.

"Wow." My brother exhaled gustily. "I feel simply, well, _terrible_. Is there nothing I can do to cure you of this condition?"

"Not unless you decide to murder Bella and name me Nessie's mother," I laughed without humor.

Edward looked up eagerly. "No, not mother…"

I sighed. "Give it up, Edward. I'll learn to control my—"

"Rose," he interrupted me. "Renesmee doesn't have a godmother. Not _yet_, at least." A smirk began to curve his lips upwards.

My hand flew to my mouth. "Not—_me_? Really, Edward? I would've thought Bella would want Alice—" I was speechless.

My brother laughed at my excitement and disbelief. "Bella would absolutely _love _you to be Renesmee's godmother. She's been worrying about how to thank you for your help during her pregnancy. She'll be so happy I thought of this." He laughed again when my eyes widened in delirious shock.

I was gloriously happy. Ecstatic! I was officially Renesmee's stand-in caretaker! And this was only a fraction of the reason I was overjoyed.

Nessie partly belonged to me now. I wasn't only her aunt anymore. And I wasn't that stereotypical _human_ godmother who was only socially required to send Christmas and birthday gifts every year. No, the Cullen family's idea of a godmother was much more. It was much more of a responsibility. It was much more of an importance in the life of the child. It was much more of an honor.

Edward took me by the hand and we ran back to the house. Bella was cooing to Renesmee on the couch. Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were looking on lovingly. Emmett was waiting for me with open arms. I rushed into his muscular embrace. "Hey, _baby_," he chuckled, eying me lustily. "I missed you."

I managed a hasty laugh, then turned to look at Edward. He grinned. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" The rest of the family looked up curiously, a bit wary. He laughed. "Announcing…Godmother Rosalie!"

The family looked at me reverently. They were happy for me.

I curtsied, trying not to laugh and cry in joy simultaneously.

Esme hugged me. "Why, Rose!" she exclaimed. "What an honor! I'm so proud."

I could see Jasper was feeling all the delight in the atmosphere, because he grinned at me with a thumbs-up and laid back blissfully. Alice and Carlisle walked over and congratulated me. Well, Carlisle did, at least. Alice _ran_.

Em whispered in my ear and promised a special "surprise" later as a reward.

Bella just looked at me with a pleased expression and held up Renesmee. She knew what I wanted. I took her into my arms, cradled her, and smiled. "My baby…" I cooed. I didn't mind that I would have to give her back. I was too lost in the magnificent moment to care. Ness touched my cheek and remembered how I had taken care of her while Bella was changing. She _loved_ me. I kissed her cheek and smiled. Never again would my envy trouble me. My feelings towards Bella _while_ she was pregnant had been evoked. And they would stay that way.

Instead of green representing jealousy and desire, my untwisting mind began to think of green as the color of new life, and growth. So once again, the quickly developing baby was symbolized by my new favorite color.

_Green_.


End file.
